Three Steps to Conquering Upsets
Can you be upset-free no matter what the circumstances? That was my homework for two weeks during the Breakthrough Seminar I took at Landmark Education.
And there were circumstances...but since we seminarians committed to being conscious witnesses of our lives, we had to unravel the upsets rather than be stopped by them.
Probable cause of an upset (according to Landmark):
Thwarted intention, unfulfilled expectation, or undelivered communication.
To further dismantle the issue, we also ask: Of what from my past does this remind me?
Generally, when you are angry or upset, you're not in present time.
Psychoanalyst Carl Jung said what we don't face within ourselves we end up meeting as fate. Ever know people who married their parents or reasonable facsimile? Perhaps that's you?
Reminds me of an old Mary Tyler Moore Show episode. Cloris Leachman's character is accused of some behavior which she flatly denies. "I'm not like that!" she says. "Mother was like that." And after a pause.
"You know, Mary, you don't know me at all, but it's amazing how well you know my mother."
Or to slightly paraphrase Emerson: What you are stands over you and shouts so loudly that I cannot hear what you are saying to the contrary.
Upsets give us the opportunity to see parts of ourselves that may shout loudly to others but to which we might be oblivious. Better to unravel or observe the issue than to marry it or meet it as fate?